June 8, 2002

How marriage counseling can help your marriage

couple not talkingMost couples have ups and downs in their relationships, but some couples get in ruts or have problems that are best dealt with by professional help.

Marriage counseling can improve your relationship in many ways, whether you just want to strengthen your bond as a couple or whether you have serious issues, such as addiction or infidelity, you need to work through as a couple.

Marriage counseling can help your marriage in a number of ways. Counseling typically occurs with the couple and a therapist, who, through talking and listening and serving as a mediator, pinpoints the issues that are causing problems in a marriage and then helping the couple to solve them. This typically occurs through such tools as:

  • How to communicate better with each other as a couple, including helping couples understand differences in communication with gender.
  • Negotiate differences. Many times, problems in marriage can be solved through compromise and negotiation, which your therapist can help with.
  • Effective problem solving. Marriage counseling can help your marriage by showing you how to work together as a team to solve your problems.
  • How to argue. It’s not realistic to expect all couples to never argue, but marriage counseling can help your marriage by showing you how to argue fairly that will help you to avoid hurt feelings and finger pointing, which will lessen the tension and resentment in a marriage.

The following are some of the things marriage counseling can help your marriage with:

Improves your bond as a couple.
Many people think that marriage counseling is only for couples on the brink of divorce; however, this isn’t always the case. Some couples go to counseling to improve their marriage by strengthening their bond as a couple or helping to better understand each other. This is done by learning ways to spend time with each other, improve your relationship through better communication, and so forth.

Some couples also opt for pre-marriage counseling, which helps them to gain a better understanding of what marriage will be like, as well as address any issues they may have before they get married.

Helps you cope with outside problems.
Sometimes, the problems in a marriage aren’t the result of a couples actions towards each other, but rather the way they handle problems that come their way. More common problems include financial stress, loss of a child or loved one, unemployment, or changing roles in life, such as retirement or the birth of a child. These issues can cause stress, anger, and other emotions. If couples don’t know how to deal with these emotions and issues together, they can end up tearing the marriage apart. Counseling can help couples learn how to deal with issues as a team rather than apart.

Helps you deal with relationship issues.
In some cases, couples have problems that greatly affect the state of their marriage. This can be infidelity, dishonesty, cultural or religious clashes, or abuse. Couples who opt to stay together through such problems can benefit from counseling as the therapist helps the couple pinpoint problem areas and how they can be resolved together. In some cases, couples will find through marriage counseling that they may not want to stay together, in which case the counselor will also help them deal with that.

Marriage counseling is a useful tool that can help your marriage in many ways.

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