May 8, 2002

How therapy or counseling can save a marriage

If your marriage is struggling and you are not sure if you can fix it, or if the problems in your marriage seem insurmountable, you might want to consider marriage counseling.

Therapy or counseling has helped many couples who are dealing with a wide range of problems. With counseling, a couple will sit down with their therapist and discuss the various problems and issues they are dealing with as a couple, then work together to solve them through various techniques.

With the right therapist and the right attitude from the couple in counseling, therapy or counseling can save your marriage. Here’s how:

Counseling gets to the root of the problem.
Oftentimes, couples who go through marriage counseling have so many problems they don’t even know where to begin. Or, they have been bickering and fighting for so long that they don’t even know what they are fighting about. With counseling, through talking and addressing the issues, marriage counselors or therapists can help you get to the root of the problem. Once you know the cause of the contention in your relationship, you can then go about fixing it together with the tools and techniques your therapist provides for you.

Counseling teaches effective communication.
Communication problems, including not expressing wants or needs, yelling or fighting in ways that belittle each other, or not communicating at all with each other, can quickly lead to the erosion of your marriage. Counseling can help couples more effectively communicate with each other, including helping you to understand the different communication styles between men and women or different personalities. It can also show you how to argue in a way that will not harm your marriage or your partner’s feelings.

Counseling provides an objective viewpoint.
If you are in marriage counseling, your counselor or therapist will not sit there and take sides if you belittle or complain about your spouse. Instead, he or she will help you both to see how you are contributing to the problems in your marriage, instead of ganging up on one or the other. Often, couples are quick to point out what their spouse is doing wrong instead of taking delivery on the problem themselves. With an objective opinion from someone who doesn’t take sides, it is easier to look inside and see what you can be doing to better your marriage.

Counseling can help you through big problems.
When a couple is dealing with major problems such as infidelity, loss of a child, bankruptcy or losing a home, or other life-altering situations, the way they handle it can greatly affect the success of their marriage. Such problems are often only helped with professional intervention. Therapy or counseling can help couples through major problems by providing coping techniques and other ways they can work together, if they choose, to tackle their problems together.

Counseling teaches you how to compromise.
Many marriage problems can be reached through compromise and a little give and take, but sometimes couples can become so stubborn that they no longer compromise or sacrifice for their spouse’s needs and wants. Counseling can help couples reach compromises that both are happy with and teach you techniques to learn how to come to agreements on your own.

Many couples find that their marriage can be saved by going to marriage counseling or therapy.

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