May 18, 2012

Extended nursing, is it right for you?

babyMost women know that it’s important to nurse their babies for at least a year. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of a year, and after that, as long as is “mutually desired” by both mother and child.

Around the world, the average age that children are weaned is 4 years. In the United States, however, only 21% of women breastfeed their babies after the age of 6 months. Yet some women are finding that they and their children both benefit from extended nursing.

What is extended nursing?
Extended nursing is nursing your child past the age of 1 year. For some women, this could be nursing until 15 or 18 months, while other women are nursing their 3 and 4 year old children.

There are many emotional, health, and nutritional benefits to extended nursing for women and their babies, but there are many things to keep in mind before making the decision to nurse past a year old.

The following are some ways to decide if extended nursing is right for you:

Can you handle extended nursing culturally?
Extended nursing is still a rarity, and many people will find it shocking to see a mother breastfeeding a child who can now walk and speak in full sentences. In western culture, extended nursing is not the norm, so consider whether or not you can handle the stares, criticism, and questions that will come from many people, including your own pediatrician, about extended nursing.

However, there are many support groups available, both in person and online, that can help you with your decision to go with extended nursing. LaLeche League, for example, is one of these.

Is your spouse supportive?
Another thing to take into consideration when determining if extended nursing is right for you is whether or not your partner is supportive of your decision. Some husbands may not be as open to the idea, or find it odd that their partner is still producing milk for an older child. Extended nursing can be difficult without support from your partner or spouse.

Are you medically capable to continue nursing?
For some women, their milk dries up after a certain amount of time for different reasons and they may not be medically able to continue nursing after a year or even sooner. In other cases, you may have a medical condition or be on medication that will stop you from breastfeeding. (If this happens, it is always wise to get a second opinion.) According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, a baby should be breastfed exclusively for the first 6 months. After that, breastfeeding along with other foods can be introduced until a year, and after a year, it’s up to the mother. Even for older children, breast milk is still highly nutritious, and it’s important to keep in mind that nursing a 3 or 4 year old is different from nursing an infant and usually only occurs once or twice a day.

Are you emotionally prepared to handle extended nursing?
Some women feel uncomfortable with the idea of nursing an older child; if this is the case, extended nursing is probably not for you. Make sure you are emotionally prepared to handle extended nursing as well, and know that you will not have the same independence you would have if your child was weaned.

The above ideas will help you to decide if extended nursing is right for you.

Expressing milk by hand

hand breast pumpIf you breast feed, then chances are you have considered options for pumping, or expressing milk from your breast when your baby is not eating. Many people have tried all or at least a few of the methods for expressing milk from the breast. For some people, an electric pump is the best option, but for others, hand expression is a better choice.

What does it mean to express milk by hand?

Expressing milk by hand means using your hand to rhythmically compress your breast so that milk comes out. Generally you express milk into a container, and save the milk by freezing it. Then it is fed to your baby when you are at work, out etc. It is an alternative to a manual or an electric pump.

How do you express milk by hand?

There’s no one right way to express milk by hand. In fact, you can find the way that works best for you, and stick with it. There are many ways do it, and it really should be a system of trial and error. Once you find something that works for you, stick with it. No matter how you do it, the best way to get optimal milk is to compress the area under the areola (the pink or brown part of the breast) behind the nipple to cause it to spray. If you squeeze the nipple itself, it will do no good, so find the pockets of milk, and massage toward the nipple, then compress the areola to get spray. In some cases it helps to hand express while you are nursing. Express the other breast, you will see that if you do it while you nurse, you will get more milk, and it will be easier.

For the most milk possible, be sure to massage your breast for a few minutes before you start to express milk. Then, massage it again several times during the process. You will put your hand on the breast, with your index finger under the nipple, where the aureola meets the breast, and your thumb on top. Then push your fingers back into the chest wall, and compress them while doing so.

Why choose to hand express rather than using a pump?

For many women, expressing milk by hand is a far faster, and easier method for getting breast milk for storage for their baby then using a pump. The cleanup is easy, and in many cases it is far more comfortable than using a pump. Many women find that pumps cause their nipples to blister. Hand expression, especially done while nursing on the other side, is fast, easy, comfortable, and does not require you to purchase any expensive equipment, etc.

What do you need to be able to express milk by hand?

Unlike pumping, you do not need any sort of equipment. You do need a clean container, and some sort of storage container for holding the expressed milk that you freeze. However, batteries, outlets, etc. are unnecessary. In addition to this you do not have to worry about cleaning a contraption, rather you just have to wash your hands.

Evaluating childcare options

daycareAs a parent, one of the biggest and most stressful decisions you can make for your young child is choosing childcare. You want your child to have the best possible care while you are away, but choosing between the different childcare options can be daunting.

The following are some of the main childcare options, and things to keep in mind when evaluating which one is right for you and your child.

Daycare center
Roughly 58% of children in the United States have spent some amount of time in a childcare, or daycare center, making it one of the most common types of childcare options. Some benefits of a daycare center include:

  • Reliability. With a daycare center, you don’t have to worry about a nanny or babysitter calling in sick; there will always be someone to watch your child.
  • Regulated. Daycare centers are required to be licensed and regulated by the state.
  • Experience. It is not uncommon to find daycare centers that have experience or degrees in early childhood education.
  • Safe. Daycare workers are required in most states to know CPR and other lifesaving techniques in the event of an emergency.

toddler paintingOn the other hand, some drawbacks of daycare centers include:

  • Children tend to get sick more often as a result of being exposed to so many other children, and most centers won’t take sick children.
  • Not a lot of flexibility with pick-up and drop-off; many places charge for every minute you are late past a certain time.
  • Can be difficult (and very expensive) to find care for infants.

Home daycare
A home daycare differs from a daycare center in that they are independently owned. Some pros of this type include:

  • Typically less children, so more personalized attention.
  • More flexible with times (typically) than other daycare centers.
  • Usually less expensive than a daycare center.

Some potential drawbacks of a home daycare center include:

  • There is no supervision of the caregiver (eg, cameras or supervisors)
  • Licensing for home daycares is less stringent, so it is important for parents to make sure it meets the requirements and is up to date on licensing.
  • Could be problematic if the caregiver becomes sick.

In-home care (Babysitter/Nanny)
In-home care, which includes a nanny or a consistent babysitter who comes to your home, is ideal for many. Some advantages of in-home care are:

  • Convenience. You don’t have to pick up or drop off; the caregiver comes to you.
  • Individualized. More one-on-one attention with your child or children.
  • You get to choose who is watching your child, which gives many parents peace of mind.
  • Allows your children to stay in their home and familiar surroundings.

Some potential drawbacks of in-home care include:

  • Expensive. Unless you have a relative coming to care for your child, this is typically the most expensive childcare option.
  • Complicated. Hiring a nanny, particularly when dealing with an agency, requires a great deal of tax and paperwork.
  • No back up. If you don’t have a backup sitter, you could be left without childcare if your sitter or nanny suddenly quits or becomes ill.

Choosing childcare is a decision that should be taken seriously, with a lot of research and time devoted to choosing the right caregiver for your child. The above tips will help you to evaluate various childcare options.

Establishing healthy sleep habits from 12 to 18 months

baby sleepingTrying to get a young toddler or baby to sleep regularly is quite the battle. Just take a look at the dark rings underneath the eyes of most new parents. They look like they haven’t slept in weeks, and in some cases this might almost be true. Both you and your baby need healthy, regular sleep if you are going to succeed in life. Your baby needs it especially because they are growing and their bodies are changing at an amazing rate. This level of change requires an amazing amount of energy, and your child will only be able to get this energy if they have healthy, normal sleep. One of the periods in childhood development in which good sleep is crucial is between the ages of 12 and 18 months. During this time your child needs to be sleeping something like fourteen hours a day. About eleven or twelve of those hours can be a night, with a lengthy two or three hour nap during the day. If you find that your child is struggling to get this amount of sleep, or if their sleep is not very deep, you could have a problem.  Without this sleep their development can be slowed greatly. If you would like to give yourself and your child as much healthy sleep as possible consider the following tips:
Although your child is still quite young at this age, developing a nightly bedtime ritual will be crucial for their sleep. This could involve anything relaxing such as a bath, a bedtime story, watching a favorite movie, or any number of other possibilities. This will help your child to realize that bedtime is a good time and something to look forward to. Also, when you have come up with a definite sleep schedule, stick to it very closely. There are few things that will disrupt a child’s sleep more than a change in their normal sleep patterns. Even if you are on vacation or visiting a relative, make sure that the child can get a nap or go to bed at their normal time.

A critical sleep habit that few parents know about is helping your child to fall asleep on their own. Many parents stay with their children until they fall asleep. While this might be sweet and cute, realize that if the child expects you to be there while they sleep they will be very disappointed when they wake to find you gone. Not only will they feel betrayed, but they might feel terrified and confused. The best solution to this problem is to make sure that your child can fall asleep independently. This might be difficult to do at first, but with some persistence you should be able to get your toddler to sleep without too much help. In this case when the toddler wakes to find you gone they will not be alarmed and will probably just go back to sleep. You can help with any fear of the dark by installing a small night light in the room. Many companies produce night lights with cute shapes and colors that will help your child feel at home.
Following these techniques you should be able to develop healthy sleeping habits in your 12 to 18 month old child. The sleep they get during this time will be critical for their future development. Without it they will be cranky, hard to deal with, and will have a hard time focusing. You won’t be much different. Good luck getting that toddler to bed!

Do you have an above average toddler?

toddler drawingGifted, above-average, highly intelligent…these are words many parents wonder about their toddlers as they see them develop faster than their peers or even siblings. But do you really have an above-average toddler? There are a number of indications in your toddler’s behavior, interaction, and play that can help you determine if your child is gifted.

Some of the questions you can ask yourself when determining whether your child is above average include:

  • Does my toddler sit patiently through the reading of a long book? Does she ask questions throughout, or ask to be read to again when it’s finished?
  • Did my child start talking early, or show an early interest in the alphabet and learning it?
  • Is my toddler interested in numbers and time concepts? Does she/he understand them?
  • Can my child readily complete puzzles or figure out games correctly that are meant for children in older age groups?
  • If your toddler has physical handicaps, has he or she learned to function or compensate despite the limitations?
  • Does my child have the ability to remember complex events or sequences of events and then describe them in detail even long after they have occurred?
  • Does my toddler have an advanced sense of humor? Can he or she recognize ironies and incongruities in stories or movies and recognize their humor?
  • Is my child able to create stories and narrate them clearly, and then create a feasible ending for the end of the story?
  • Does my child demonstrate a gift for music? Is she sensitive to it, and can hear and absorb songs quickly and recite them again accurately?
  • Is my child frustrated by physical limitations that her body can’t handle, yet her mind is perfectly capable of?
  • Does my toddler have a “moral compass” that he holds fast to? Is he intolerant of things that don’t seem fair?
  • Does my toddler organize and sort his or her toys, food, and other items, either by color, size, classification, and so forth?
  • Does my toddler understand the concept of cause and effect sooner than other children?
  • Is my child a multi-tasker as a toddler?

If your can answer “yes” to many of these questions, your toddler may be above average.
Keep in mind, however, that while they may reach milestones more readily than others their age, most children are not in fact “gifted.” It is estimated that only about 5% of toddlers and children are truly gifted, and of those, only one in 100 is “highly gifted.”

Whether or not your toddler is truly above average, you can help your toddler develop his or her special talents by encouraging them in a number of ways. Give your child advanced puzzles and games, and read to him or her often. Play music for your child, and explain concepts in stories or children’s television shows that you watch together. If your toddler shows a particular interest or talent in a certain area, such as reading or numbers, encourage him or her to explore it and provide him with opportunities to do so. Recognizing your child’s gifts, then giving him or her the support and guidance they need, will help them to develop them even further.

These are a few ways you can tell if your toddler is above average.

Disciplining your toddler

toddler in time-outWhen you have a child, you have to learn discipline, and most experts agree that when it comes to disciplining a toddler, it is not so much what you do as it is that you do it consistently. It can be difficult to be consistent with a toddler. In some cases you are tired, so you give in to them. In other cases you may be ornery so you yell at them. The fact is, if you want to discipline your toddler and make it effective, you have to be consistent. The following are some tips for disciplining toddlers, and doing it consistently so that your techniques will be more effective:

  1. Pick your priorities. Toddlers are notorious for pushing the limits. They are trying to develop as a person, and define who they are, and they are going to push you and push you just to see if they can. In some cases they are going to simply be asserting their independence, in others they will be having one of those toddler tantrums they are known for, and in others they will simply be being a child. So, when it comes to disciplining your toddler, pick your batters, if you try to tackle every discipline challenge at once, you’ll be too overwhelmed to do it with consistency. Choose one area of concern, such as name calling, hitting, or biting, and stick with it, giving it your focus and attention until that misbehavior is appropriately taken care of. This way, if you focus on one of two things, you can be better at not giving in, and not rewarding poor behavior.
  2. Don’t expect an overnight transformation. Many parents hope that if they suddenly start disciplining appropriately that their children will suddenly start acting appropriately. It typically takes three weeks to make over misbehavior. Your child will need some time to adjust to the new way of you doing things, especially if you made idle threats, or lacked discipline before.
  3. Remind yourself of your strategy. It is important that you get little reminders during the day of how you intend to discipline your kid, especially because as you get tired and your child argues with you, you will need these little reminders. So, leave yourself little notes such as “Do not argue.” Or “Don’t give in to whining.” They will help you make it through the day.
  4. Consider timing. Usually parents want their toddlers to behave best during crazy times, such as at a birthday party, or during the middle of an activity. However, you need to teach your child behavioral tips and discipline during stable times, and not try to give them a crash course right before a big party, as that might actually make their behavior worse. This also means do not try to dive into a new discipline strategy right before a new baby arrives, or school starts, or you’re working on a move, as those times are changing enough for a toddler, and you do not want to put them on overload.
  5. Expect resistance. Toddlers are like teens, they will challenge you no matter how consistent you are. So, be prepared, even if they originally respond well, they might and probably will fall back into bad habits for a while. These are frustrating setbacks, but if you expect them, they won’t bother you as much.
  6. Do not do it alone. If you are being consistent with your discipline, but your spouse is not, then it will be hard. So, get some backup. Whomever is around your child a lot, should be included, that means teachers, grandparents, and more.

Development facts about toddlers

toddler with toyThe development of a toddler is amazing. There are so many things for toddlers to learn and so many developments for their body to make at the toddler stage. This article will discuss some development facts about toddlers.

Toddler brain development

A lot of brain development occurs around an infant’s birth. But the majority of this brain function is basic function. The cerebral cortex is the part of the brain that will store memories, that controls the voluntary muscle movements, and experiences actual thoughts. And it is during the toddler years that the cerebral cortex begins to develop even more.

Millions of synapses are added in the cerebral cortex during the toddler years. Synapses are connections between brain cells. The toddler years are when a child has the most synapse that he or she will have in her entire life. Because of this, these years are the some of the best years for a child to learn.

Understanding words and talking

An infant can only understand a handful of words. By the age of one they may be able to understand more, possibly around 70. But as they get a few months older, around 18 months a toddler will learn about one word every two hours that they are awake! Toddlers also begin to speak more words as well.

Walking

Children learn usually learn how to walk during their toddler years. The first cruising and the first steps soon turn into walking without help. Many toddlers take their first steps sometime between 11 and 14 months of age. After much practice, a toddler will soon be able to bend down and stand back up on their own.

Around the age of 19 to 24 months a toddler will be able to hold onto an object or try to lift an object while they are walking. Around this time is also when many toddlers learn how to run instead of just walking.

Drawing and writing

The toddler years are a time for a child to learn how to draw and write. The first drawings-which may take place at around one to two years of age-are not much more than a few scribbles. But these scribbles are only the beginning.

Around 19 to 25 months of age, a toddler will begin to draw more than scribbles. Some of the drawings may even start to resemble shapes. A toddler’s development does not allow him or her to hold a marker or pencil steady enough for real writing yet though. But, if someone draws a straight line, the toddler would probably be able to imitate it with ease.

Toddlers may be able to hold a thick writing utensil in writing position around 31 to 36 months of age. Some can start to write letters and numbers and may learn how to write some of the letters in their name, or even be able to write their first name.

Right or left handed

A toddler will usually begin to prefer either their right or left hand when they are around two or three years old. Before this time they most likely used both of their hands pretty equally. For most toddlers, they will be right-handed. But there are a few that turn out to be left-handed. No one is sure what makes a toddler choose to be right or left-handed or why the majority end up being right-handed.

Common breastfeeding problems

nursing motherNew mothers who opt to breastfeed their children will soon discover that breastfeeding has issues and complications that may arise. However, many of these common breastfeeding problems are easily remedied.

The following are some of the most common breastfeeding problems and how to alleviate them.

Problem: Sore nipples
Perhaps the most common complaints of breastfeeding mothers, sore nipples can occur for a variety of reasons. Sore nipples can be sore, tender, red, or chafed and pointy rather than round and smooth. Most often, this is the result of your baby not latching on properly. Babies who latch properly do so by taking in breast tissue, with the nipple at the back of the baby’s mouth, where the nipple can’t be pinched. When the nipple is in front of the baby’s mouth, you will feel a pinch every time the tongue comes up, which often results in soreness.

Solution:
The best way to correct this problem is to place your finger in the corner of the baby’s mouth, breaking the latch, as soon as you feel pain. Then have the baby latch on again. He should be taking about an inch of your areola into your mouth as well. This will not only relieve nipple soreness, but give your baby an easier time feeding as well.

In addition, take care of your breasts by avoiding harsh soaps on your breasts while showering, which can further dry them out. Instead, clean them with water. You can keep your nipples soft by regularly applying creams that are made specially for nursing mothers.

Problem: Lumps
Sometimes when breastfeeding, painful lumps or sore, tender spots will appear in your breast. Most of the time, this is the result of a plugged milk duct.

Solution:
You can continue to breastfeed with painful lumps, and the plugged ducts can be fixed by applying heat compresses to your breast for about 10 minutes, three times a day. Or, you can massage your breast while taking a warm shower. This will help to loosen the area up. You should continue to breastfeed or express milk, as this will help to unplug the lump.

Problem: Engorged breasts
This is normal when just beginning breastfeeding and usually occurs within the first week you start nursing. Engorged breasts occur when milk, lymph fluid, and blood all start flowing at the same time, causing the breast tissue to swell. The swollen tissue pushes down on the milk ducts, which may clamp shut, making it so the milk fills up in the breast and causes engorgement.

Solution:
You can reduce the swelling by placing cold packs on the breast for about 20 minutes, allowing the swelling to go down and the ducts to open. Right before nursing, you can also put a warm pack on your nipples for a few minutes, which will also help the milk flow better. The best thing you can do in the meantime is continue nursing to expel the buildup of breast milk.

In addition, you should avoid showering if you have engorged breasts. The pounding of the hot water can actually increase engorgement as a result of the swelling of blood vessels from the pressure and the heat.

Breastfeeding is the healthiest thing you can do for your baby, but sometimes complications arise. The above are some of the more common breastfeeding problems and what you can do about them.

Circumstances that complicate sleep training

Training a toddler to sleep is a difficult business. It usually takes a great deal of time to get to a point where they are willing to go to sleep on their own. It requires real patience and perseverance on theirs and your part to get to a healthy sleeping cycle. This process is particularly frustrating for parents because they don’t remember what it was like to be young unfamiliar with the world. When children cry themselves to sleep at night the experience real anguish-its not fake. Fortunately for all of us, kids are resilient, and their ability to get up the next day in order to learn and grow is encouraging. Sleep is very important to growing children because their changing bodies require a great deal of energy. Obviously for hard working adults sleep is an absolute necessity. What this suggests is that good sleep habits are absolutely essential for the help of both parent and child. However, there are several circumstances that can lead to complications in sleep training. It is important that you know what these complications are so that you can avoid them.

Many parents are forced to have their children share bedrooms from an early age. This is fine as long as all the children are able to get to sleep easily. More often than not, one child has a problem with sleeping, and this problem affects the other children. If you are in this situation consider removing the child who sleeps well from the room until you have worked out the problem with the other child. Doing so means that a problem with one child will not become a serious issue for the other one.

One critical problem can be environment. If you live in a cold, loud, or otherwise threatening environment there is little chance that your toddler or baby will be able to sleep well. Make sure that they have comfortable sleep clothing and that they are sufficiently warm. An old crib with a poor mattress can certainly cause problems. If you cannot move from a bad apartment or home, try making the sleeping environment more hospitable. Some noise can be drowned out with a silence maker or with some sort of sleep noise tape. If your neighbors are part of the problem, ask them politely to keep the noise down. No one wants a war with the people living next door, but you will find that most people respond respectfully to a situation involving a baby.

If you are living with relatives or friends make sure that they understand your sleep schedule. Some parents allow their children to fuss as they fall asleep and others don’t. If your inlaws get up to help the baby it could throw off your whole routine. This can be a touchy situation, but regularity is the key to getting into a good sleeping cycle. Any disruption could throw you and your child off.

If you can avoid these sorts of pitfalls you should be able to develop a regular sleeping schedule that will help you to both get enough rest. If your child continues to have sleeping problems after everything you try, take them to a doctor. Sometimes particular conditions can make sleep difficult, and toddlers often have trouble sleeping because of psychological trauma. The point is to not assume that the source of your toddler’s sleep problem is to be found in their blanket, although this could be as good a reason as any. With some experimentation and patience you should be able to find a successful schedule.

Childcare for toddlers

toddlerWhen it comes to childcare for toddlers, it’s important that parents choose one that will not only provide an enriching environment for their children, but give them peace of mind while they are away as well.

With so many different options for childcare, it can be difficult to know how to choose childcare for your toddler. The following is an overview of childcare for toddlers.

Day care
Many parents opt to put their toddlers in daycare. These facilities, while pricey, are state licensed and often staffed by childcare professionals. Rules are regulations require a certain ratio of children to staff, and many facilities have cameras installed for safety reasons.

Day cares are good options because unlike a babysitter, a daycare can’t call in sick, leaving you in a bind. In addition, licensing requirements help to ensure your child is safe. However, downsides of daycares include little leniency when it comes to drop off and pick up times, not as much one on one attention, and the likelihood that your child will be sick more often.

When choosing a daycare, look for the following:

  • Ask for recommendations. This is the best way to find reputable childcare.
  • Make sure the center has at least 5 years of experience.
  • Make sure they are up to date on state licensing.
  • Ask about the qualifications of the staff (schooling, turnover rate, how many know CPR, etc.)
  • Visit each potential one. Ask to see where the children eat, sleep, and play. Observe the surroundings. Are they clean? Are the children happy? Is the time structured? Are the children well-supervised? If it doesn’t meet or exceed your expectations, keep looking.

Once you have chosen a daycare center, plan on dropping by unexpectedly every now and again to see how things are going.

In-home care
In-home care can be in the form of a relative, babysitter, or nanny coming to your home to care for your toddler. Many parents like this option because it allows them to carefully select someone they trust to watch their child, and it allows their toddler to remain in a familiar home environment. In addition, the toddler receives more one on one care.

However, in-home care can be very expensive. It can also be a gamble, because unless you install hidden cameras, you never really know what is going on in your home. That is why it’s so important to choose someone who you trust to watch your child.

When considering in-home care, look for the following:

  • Qualifications, including experience, CPR, and knowledge of toddler, and make sure the caregiver has all the qualifications you require.
  • References. Check all references. Ask them what they liked about the caregiver and what they didn’t like.
  • Background check. Make sure you do a background check; the expense is worth the peace of mind.
  • Ask for recommendations. If you don’t already have someone in mind, this is a great way to find a reputable caregiver.

When interviewing, make sure you let them know exactly what is expected, and drop in every now and again unannounced to make sure things are running the way you expect.

Finding childcare for toddlers can be stressful and daunting, whether you are looking for someone in-home or a daycare center. The above tips will help you to find the right childcare for your toddler.