February 23, 2012

How to make your spouse your best friend (again)

couple laughingWhen you first met your spouse did you fall in love? Many people experience a wonderful honeymoon period when they first fall in love. Their soon to be spouse becomes their most intimate and beloved friend. Everything can be shared with this friend-even the most deep and dark secrets. Many married couples share fundamental interests, plans, and goals. They can talk for hours about anything and they often feel that their spouse was made for them. However, not long after the wedding bells have rung many couples find themselves in a very different situation. With the stresses and strains of life, along with the problems that always seem to come when two individuals live with each other, marriages often become something quite different than they were. The person who was once your best friend soon becomes an enemy or just another roommate. If you don’t want to end up in this situation you need to think carefully about how you are going to deal with marriage.

How is it that best friends quickly become enemies or strangers after making the commitment of marriage to each other? Shouldn’t their love only grow with time and experience? The reason why many marriages end in divorce is that people stop spending quality time with each other. If you think about your best friend you probably think about the times you spent together. You realize that great friendships are based on more than just common interests; a good friendship is always a result of effort and time spent together. If you find that your spouse is no longer your best friend one thing that you can do is to make time for each other. Plan regular activities with each other and explore common interests. If you let the stresses of life get you down your marriage will suffer. One of the only solutions is to escape those stresses as much as possible. Discuss possible outings that interest both of you and leave your problems behind at least once a week.

A good vacation can also do wonders for an ailing marriage. Find a romantic location with opportunities for interesting activities. One of the keys to making friends again is lots of fun activities. Reinvigorating your sex life can also help; sex is a playful way to awaken a friendship that has been absent for a long time.

Another way to become friends again is to find the things in your life that are preventing friendship and to eliminate them. Sometimes career or hobbies get in the way of your friendship with your spouse. If you find yourself spending all of your time focused on something besides your friendship with your spouse you can bet that you will loose the friendship. Look for things in your life that are keeping you from a lasting relationship and avoid them at all cost. It might even require that you change your career in order to avoid divorce. Just remember that you can find another job, but finding another best friend is not easy.

These are just a few suggestions for anyone who wants to make their spouse into a best friend again. Because every marriage is different you will need to think about which method works best for you. Consider the needs of your spouse and their personality-what excites them and motivates them? With some patience and work you can easily transform your marriage into a lasting and rewarding friendship. Remember to never give up on your best friend!