September 26, 2017

Rules for a happy husband

Every woman wants a happy husband, and here are six tips to help you get one. If you follow this advice, and implement it into your daily life, you will find you are happy and fulfilled as a result.

1. Be careful not to contradict him in front of others. Doing so can embarrass him. It can cause others to lose respect for him. It can cause him to lose respect for himself. It is especially important to remember this in front of your children, his boss, coworkers etc. Respect is very important to men, and you do not want to be the cause of your spouse not being respected as much.

2. In addiction to not contradicting him in front of others, do not criticize him in front of others. A little bit of constructive criticism may not seem like a big deal, but it can be. Instead, wait until you are in private to share your views in a loving and helpful manner. When a man is criticized in front of others, it can cause embarrassment and resentment. It can also lead to lower self esteem, which is never a desirable outcome.

3. Be his advocate. If you want a happy spouse, defend him and be his advocate. Never let anyone disrespect him in front of you. If someone has something hurtful to say, be the first one to jump to his defense, as snide remarks can really impact a person, especially if said in front of your spouse, and they do not defend you. Your husband should be the most important person in your life, which means you should be their biggest defender and cheerleader. Do not let someone get away with belittling or disrespecting them.

4. One of the best ways to have a happy spouse is to be happy yourself. Learn how to love yourself, and not let your personal insecurities get in the way of your relationship, your dreams, and your hopes for the future. If you can let some of those insecurities go, and just like yourself anyway, they will worry less about you, and find your company far more pleasant.

5. Show them lots of love and pamper them. A great way to have a happy husband is to show them just a little extra attention and consideration. Make a big deal out of when they get home. Make their favorite meals just because, and surprise them with sweet things from time to time for no reason at al. If they are sick, baby them and wait on them hand and foot. Basically, the more you pamper them and include them in your thoughts and actions, the more loved they will feel, and the happier they will be as a result.

6. Show you are interested in him and what he has to say. You can do this by making direct eye contact when talking. You can shut off distractions and listen to what he has to say, etc. Show your interest, and never prioritize something like a book, or television over them.

Is your spouse seeming distant?

Every relationship has its ups and downs but when it moves from being a great thing into a feeling of separation or distance between the two of you, there are some problems to worry about. Relationships need constant work and you both need to be equally invested in the relationship for it to work. What happens when you feel like you are giving the relationship everything you have and you have a partner that doesn’t seem to be as invested? What can you do about the relationship at this point? Communicate! When someone is distant, there is a lack of communication. They may feel like they cannot trust you because you will become angry or upset if they bring up things that are concerning or troubling them. Males more than females tend to pull away and become distant in relationships when it hits a plateau or when they feel they need to seek out connection and thrills elsewhere.

However not all men that distance themselves are intimate with other people. They may have a lot of stress and pressure that they are dealing with and this tends to take up the majority of their time and focus. In most cases, financial worries are one of the biggest reasons why a man will distance himself from a marriage. If money has always been tight in your marriage, it may reach a point where it gets even tighter. When you hit this wall, you will find that it is difficult for you to manage money and you have a difficult time caring and nurturing the relationship because you are both working hard to fix your money problems. Other stresses like money will quickly tear apart a healthy relationship.

Men also take a lot of pride in their job and in providing for their families. Having a steady job and one that makes them feel appreciated and like they are worth something is important to their self-esteem. It is important that you feel for your spouse if they have lost their job or if they are having troubles with their career path. If you are not open and caring about this concern, they will become isolated from you. It is important that you give him space to figure out what he wants to do and just be there to listen instead of telling him what you want him to do.

Does your husband have family members that are dealing with health concerns or other concerns? Men may become distant because they are worried about other people that are in their life. Their sick mother or divorcing brother can put a heavy weight on their shoulders and may cause them to become distant from you while they try to deal with these emotional issues.

As a partner you need to be supportive and understanding. Take this time to listen to them and to let them know that you are here for them and you care for them. Do not badger them with questions and ask them things like “what is your problem?” “are you having an affair?” These are questions that will just bother them and may end up pushing them further away. Have confidence in the fact that they do love you and in time they will open up more. You need to have confidence in yourself and in the relationship and to know that you will get through this rough time. Try to get their focus off these problems by taking them out on a date or going away for a nice weekend vacation. When they are pulled away from all the distractions, it will make it easier for them to open up to you and really improve the relationship.

First date thoughts

When you go on a first date with someone, especially someone you are already fairly attracted to, you can be nervous. Wouldn’t it be nice to know what he or she is thinking? Well, this is a little look into what many guys think on first dates, and what you can do differently to make a better impression>

Does she always talk this much? If you are nervous, you may find yourself prattling away, and that is NOT good. If he is not piping in and joining the conversation every other sentence or so, then you need to zip it, at least to an extent. It is good to be exuberant and want to talk, but make sure you are having a conversation with him, not at him.

Can I afford to date her? One of the biggest things that goes through his mind is how big of an impact you are going to make on his wallet if he continues to date you after this first date. If you order a pricey cocktail, an appetizer, and a high priced meal, then he might like you, but be afraid to date you. Take your cues from his ordering, and only go big if he goes big first. Otherwise, get something you want, but be fairly conservative.

Will they be breaking this date down after? If you are checking your phone, texting, updating your facebook status, etc. during the date, he is probably worried that he is being evaluated and talked about in a very public way. Do not give him any reason to think that his performance is going to be reviewed and hashed apart with your friends. He won’t like the feeling.

What will mom think of her? This one might surprise you, but while he wants you to be sexy and edgy, he also wants to be able to confidently introduce you to the parents. So, don’t be too provocatively dressed, and watch the language. He isn’t going to want to take you home to mom and dad any time soon, but he will want to know that he can.

Will she be able to hang out with my friends? Guys want girls that are feminine and sexy, but they also want a girl that can be a friend, and get along with his friends. He isn’t going to want to keep the two lives separate for long, so show that you can be fun, and get down with the guys, or be classy and the kind of girl he would want to show off at a class reunion as well.

Is she feeling some chemistry with me? Girls aren’t the only ones that worry if the date is going well and if he likes her. Show him a sign (but not too blatant) that you are into him, otherwise he might shut it down before it ever has a chance to develop because he doesn’t think you are in to him.

Are you too alike?

In relationships, being alike is normal. It’s common to gravitate toward others who look and talk like we do. We often find ourselves surrounded by people who are like us, that have the same interests, hobbies, and views on the world. This is totally normal, but is it good for a romantic relationship? Yes and no. Consider the following:

When we’re repeatedly exposed to something, we find it to be more enticing, and there’s nothing we see more than ourselves. This is one of the reasons we are often most attracted to people who look and act like us. We see them, and are drawn to them because they are like us. However, without something to make them different, the initial attraction can wane. Thus, look for someone like you, but not just like you.

Shared looks and phrases might start the relationship off well, but be careful you don’t change just to be like them. One of the biggest problems with finding someone too like you is that it can lead to losing your own identity and instead taking on a group identity. Or, because you think you are so alike, you stop caring out your own interests, and start taking on theirs. Women tend to do this more then men. They find themselves interested in the same music, same sports teams, etc. as their significant other, rather than forming their own opinion. It is good to be alike, but don’t be so alike that you can’t define yourself outside of your relationship.

Be alike, but not so much that you turn into each other. Common interests are important, as that is how you spend time with one another, and build bonds together. However, if you find that you are so similar, you will see that there is little variety, and you can easily fall into ruts. Look for ways to pursue individual interests within your relationship, continually developing as a couple, but also as individuals. It will make for a healthier and happier you.

Do you have your own identity? Ask yourself this question. Do you have your own friends? Can you be happy and have interests outside of the relationship you are in? It is always a good idea to have friends as a couple, and friends that are your own friends. It is wise to look for ways to enjoy time spent together, but also find your own hobbies and interests.

Being alike can make relationships easy and fun, but being different adds depth and variety to your relationship. Thus, find your common ground together, but do not be afraid to seek out ways to be different from each other as well. If you are in a long-term committed relationship, consider having one day a week that you spend separately, with your own friend group, and pursuing your individual interests, whatever those may be.

10 ways to show love better

It is common for people to say that they love someone, but showing love is just as important as expressing that love through words. The following is ten ways that you can show your love to those you care about:

  1. Listen without interrupting- This is one of the very best things you can do to show love, as listening is a great way to impress on someone that you care. If you interrupt, or spend the time trying to think of something to say in return you do not show real concern or respect.
  2. Speak without accusing- Accusing speech can be very damaging to a relationship. Even when working out problems, speak with kindness, and focus on what you can do better rather than making accusations. Focus on solutions rather than problems.
  3. Give without sparing- Generosity is a great way to show love, improve relationships, and help someone know you care. Give of your love, your time, your talents, and even your material possessions to show love.
  4. Pray without ceasing- Praying for someone you love is a great way to show love. It shows that you care enough to petition God on their behalf. Continual prayer on someone’s behalf will give you more charitable thoughts toward them, and help you see them as God would, and show greater love.
  5. Answer without arguing- Arguing is damaging to relationships. Showing concern, love and care without argument is key to a healthy, happy relationship. When a question is raised, even if it feels accusatory, answer without argument, be the peacemaker and your love will show through.
  6. Share without pretending- It is good to share your knowledge, your things, your love, your secrets without adding anything extra or pretending it to mean more than it does it. This is a great way to show love.
  7. Enjoy without complaint- A fantastic way to show your love for someone is to enjoy their company, their offerings, etc. without complaint. Enjoy time spent together and do not complain about it.
  8. Trust without wavering-Trust is a huge part of healthy relationships, and can be one of the best ways to show your love for someone. Give them trust, and do not let it waver, show them that you believe in them. Give trust and expect trust in return.
  9. Forgive without punishing- Forgiveness is often necessary in relationships, show your love by forgiving without having to get revenge, justice, etc. True forgiveness does not need punishment. Make this a part of your life, and you will see the benefits of it in a strengthened relationship.

10.  Promise without forgetting- When you make promises in relationships, whether it is to be there, to stay true, or something like picking up a specific grocery item, forgetting it can make it seem as if you do not care. Make promises, and remember the promises you make so that you can keep them.

Tips To Bring Stability To A Marriage

We hear all the time that half of all marriages fail. If you want to survive the odds and have a stable marriage, what do you need to do? Before you get married you need to understand the commitment you are making and to really focus on getting yourself prepared for what marriage is and everything that it entails. So what are some of the key elements that you need to take in order to bring stability to your marriage? Here are some of the most important characteristics:

  1. Communication – in any type of relationship one of the most important things you will have is communication. You need to talk to each other and to really open up about everything. If you live with a closed heart and you don’t focus on talking to one another, you will both struggle to make it. Make time to eat dinner together, go on trips just the two of you, spend time talking to each other every day. If you do have disagreements you need to focus on opening up to each other in a calm, rational manner. The last thing you want to do is to yell and scream at one another. It is important that you understand each other and to figure out what is the matter and how you can tackle the problems you face together.
  2. Love and Affection – it is very important to have love and affection for one another. You both need to make efforts to touch each other intimately and to bring romance back to your relationship. The simple affection of holding hands and other things will really help to improve your connection to one another. Physical touching helps to reassure one another that you are both committed and in love. Make time for intimacy. It can be hard to bring this to a marriage when you have children and so many other stresses and pressures in your life. Be sure that you are not neglecting one another and that you are focused on physical love as well.
  3. Respect – for any marriage to work you both need to have respect for each other. You and your partner are equals and you both work together to create a healthy, happy environment for everyone. It is important that you do not criticize or belittle each other. Think positive thoughts about each other and do not talk poorly about one another to other people. Do not look at the negative qualities of your spouse, look at the positive qualities that they have and all the joy and happiness that they bring to your life. Praise them often and let them know how much they mean to you. When you help to lift them up, they will do this in return to you and it is a great way to have a positive and happier marriage.
  4. Set Goals – you both need to be on the same path. While it is normal and common to have separate hobbies and other things you both need to have goals to look forward to together. It is important to work together to meet some big goals in your marriage like buying a home together or possibly starting a family together. These are life-changing things and you both need to be committed to these goals in order to have a happy marriage.
  5. Beliefs – if you are religious it is important that you continue to practice your religion. Together you both need to practice, even if you are of separate faiths. Be willing to listen to one another and to support each other in your faith.

How To Bring Back The Romance

Relationships can start to lose their luster after awhile. Romance is one of the things that can quickly go out of the window if you are not careful. Bringing back the romance is one of the best ways to appreciate the relationship more and to truly enjoy and cherish the love that you have for each other. Romance is something that everyone needs to learn. It is something that is essential to your relationship and it will help to bring you closer together with the person that you love and have chosen to share your life with. Romance not only bonds you closer to this person it actually helps you to value your relationship more and will help you to enjoy your life more fully as you feel satisfied in so many different areas of the relationship.

What is Romance?

Let’s start with the basic question of what is romance. It is associated with love and pleasure. It is the comfort of loving another person unconditionally and feeling secure in your relationship. When you are in love it can be easy to forget to “woo” the other person and to make them feel special and loved. Romance helps you to build a deep connection with another person. You are able to have a connection with this person just by looking at them, touching them, kissing them, and caressing them. Romance is all the strong buildup that leads to physical intimate. Even while intimate, romance doesn’t die here as it continues on in the way you love your partner.

How do I bring back Romance?

Romance never dies; you just need to learn how to rekindle it in your relationship and in yourself. Romance is essential to a happy, healthy relationship. To remind yourself of it read a romance novel or watch some romantic movies that remind you of the simple gestures that help you to connect with another person on a different level. Think of the needs of the other person and the things that they like and appreciate that you do for them. As you focus on their needs, you can remember certain things that romance them such as taking them out for a nice dinner and dancing. You might even try taking them out for a romantic picnic away from all the hustle and bustle and busy things in your life. Even asking your partner what they like can help you to try and focus on this and will allow you to romance your lover once and awhile.

Notice what is Missing

When it comes to working on your relationship you have to know what is missing. Evaluate what needs you have and which ones your partner has. Sit down together and talk to each other about things you would like and things that they would like. Communication is vital as no one can read minds and it’s hard to know what your partner likes if they won’t tell you. When you stop trying, your relationship will start to go downhill. You have to work hard every day to keep the romance alive and to really work on making your partner feel important and loved by you. Romancing them is one of the best ways to show them how much you love them and that they are special to you. Plan dates and surprises for your partner. This is one way in which they will feel your love and commitment to them and will help them to reciprocate these emotions to you as well. It makes the relationship satisfying for both of you and will bring out a healthy relationship all the way around.

Creating compatibility

Compatibility in a relationship is important. Too many people think that if they no longer feel as compatible to their partner, that the relationship is some how doomed, or destined not to work out. What most do not realize is that just like any other aspect of a relationship, if you want to be compatible, you have to work at it.

Compatibility takes work- This is important to remember because while many times you find yourself more compatible with someone than another person, it is often simply how compatible you want to be. For example, you and your partner may not have been as compatible in the beginning as you think, but you may have been more willing to deal with the differences because it was new and interesting. Thus, instead of expecting it to be easy, remember to work at it. You can do this by reminding yourself what you liked about your partner when you first got married. Chances are there was a lot, and maybe you both became self-absorbed over time and lost your connection. The fact is, this happens. It is not a matter of whether or not you were compatible once, but whether or not you are willing to find ways to become compatible again.

Get rid of your bad attitude- If you want to create compatibility in your relationships, you have to commit to it. This means quit focusing on the ways you are not compatible, and start worrying more about the ways that you are. A good attitude can do a lot for helping you feel more compatible, and enjoy your relationship more.

Seek common ground- When creating compatibility in a relationship, you want to seek common ground. Focus on the things you share, and enjoy together, and don’t worry about the rest for the time being. The compatibility will come when you focus on the right things.

Get honest and create compatibility without blaming or accusing- Last but not least, you have to be honest with one another. You will never feel compatible with your spouse if you do not voice your opinions, and seek to bridge gaps in a respectful and friendly way. As you work on compatibility you have to be honest with yourself and with your spouse, but you also have to do this without placing blame, or leveling accusations. Too many couples seek to grow closer, and it turns into an opportunity to point out all of their differences, and leads to the blame game. Avoid this.

Being compatible is all in the head. Even if you like very different things, you can find ways to work around that, and still enjoy a happy, healthy relationship, but only if you are committed to doing so. Prioritize this in your relationship, and you will find that the differences make life fun, and your compatibility comes in wanting to be together.

Is Your Marriage Sustainable

Is your marriage sustainable? This is a difficult question to answer. If you are ever at a point in your relationship where this question is being posited, you need to seriously think about the dynamics of your marriage. This article will explore some of the tenets of a sustainable marriage and give you some tips to help you get back on the road to a happy marriage if you have deviated from it.

Finances are one of the things that strain relationships the most. When a couple has poor finances, there is often not enough money to pay bills, let alone partake in some of the expensive things that are associated with a marriage, such as going on dates, eating out, and buying nice things. If you find yourself at arms over finances, there are several options to address this issue. If you are struggling with your finances as a couple, see a banker or financial counselor. A banker or financial counselor will be able to help you get back on track. Sometimes getting your finances in order can be a tough task. Getting our finances in order should be a priority and will require making some sacrifices. If two partners decide to solve their financial problems together, this can make a marriage sustainable. Set financial goals together. If you reach them, buy something nice or go out for a night on the town.

Do both parties in your marriage communicate effectively? Some people do not know how to communicate well. This can take a toll on a marriage. Work on good communication skills from the first day of the marriage. If you love your partner, tell them this. If something is not going your way, have a conversation about it. If you are not happy with an aspect of the marriage, see what the two of you can do to work it out. When you love someone, you should communicate your emotions with them. You should also let them know when things are going well. This will help your significant other realize that they are doing a good job. Don’t draw out arguments and don’t have them over text messaging. You should settle disagreements in person. This will make your spouse feel safe, loved, and protected.

Respect is the most important rule in any marriage. If your marriage lacks respect, your marriage is not sustainable. Your marriage should be built on love, respect, and mutual caring. Respect is the most important ingredient of these three. If you don’t respect your partner, you are not going to be able to love them in the way that they deserve. Love is built upon respect. When you love your partner unconditionally, you respect them as a person. This is very important because respect is the primary ingredient in relationships from all walks of life. When you love someone, you should treat them like you want to be treated. Marriage vows are based largely on respect. This mutual respect should go both ways between both people in a marriage.

These are just a few tips for trying to make a marriage work. Your marriage is the most important component of your life. When you have a family, it is because you married someone that you love and care about. Your partner should be the most important person in your life. If you love someone, make it so that they feel that the marriage is sustainable. If you find that the marriage is not sustainable, you should see a marriage counselor. They can help you find that magic that may be missing from your relationship. Restoring sustainability to your marriage should be a priority.

How to be a great bridesmaid at your friend’s wedding

Being a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding can be a lot of fun but it can also cause a great deal of stress on the relationship that you have with your friend. It is important to understand what a bridesmaid does and does not do before you accept the invitation to be in your friend’s wedding party. Failing to understand what will be expected of you can put a great deal of strain on your relationship and even damage your friendship. The good news is that being a bridesmaid for a close friend can bring you even closer. Here is what you need to know about how to be a great bridesmaid at your friend’s wedding-

  • Know what will be expected of you-The first step to being a great bridesmaid is to understand what will be expected of you. You will be heavily involved in the planning of many of the auxiliary parties and events that surround the wedding. You will need to be able to purchase a dress that the bride picks out and pay for any additional expenses for the wedding day such as: makeup, hair, shoes, and jewelry. There may be other out of pocket expenses as well. In addition, to the money you will need to be prepared to take time out of your own life in order to support your friend. The bottom line is that by knowing what will be expected of you it will make being a bridesmaid a much better experience for both you and your friend.
  • Know that it isn’t about you-The most common problem that crops up in a bride/bridesmaid relationship happens when the bridesmaid is not supporting the bride and instead chooses to make it about her. If you agree to be a bridesmaid you need to be prepared to help the bride and support her choices even if they wouldn’t be yours. Keep in mind that this is her wedding not yours. Being a supportive bridesmaid is just like being a supportive friend. While you may not agree with everything she is doing you will still have her back. It is also important to understand that this can be a stressful time for your friend so your unwavering support will mean a lot to her as she plans her wedding.
  • Know how to project the right attitude-Being a bridesmaid is a lot about having the right attitude. You want to make sure that your friend who is getting married knows that you are there to support her. If she needs your presence to help make decisions then take is as a compliment and go willingly to wherever she needs. Try to be helpful and remember that even though this can be a stressful time it won’t last forever. Many friendships have been damaged by wedding stress and it often is left up to the bridesmaid to make sure that it doesn’t happen to her and the bride’s friendship. Finally, be on time to whatever the bride asks of you. When you do this you are letting her know that you are there for her.
  • Know how to make it special-If you want to use the wedding as a time to strengthen your friendship then know how you can make it special for the bride. Whether this means taking her out for pedicures for just the two of you or making her a scrapbook of pictures from your past these extra gestures can add to both your friendship and your new relationship as bride and bridesmaid. When you go the extra mile as a bridesmaid the bride will remember your thoughtfulness long after the wedding.