September 26, 2017

Communicating effectively with your junior high aged child

Do you remember how awful junior high school was? Very few people can remember just how awkward it was to move into a phase of life when you were neither an adult nor a child. It was a time when you were trying to spend time with the cool kids and fit into a group. Many children report that junior high is terribly competitive and cruel. Kids who would have once played with you one th jungle gym are now mercilessly making fun of you for something you wear or say. It is also a time when children’s bodies are starting to change, and with them their emotions. Many young children report feeling terrible mood swings during this time. It is also the time when children start to discover the other sex in a new way. This also leads to some real confusion and much heart break. With so much separating you from your junior high aged child, you will find that it is quite difficult to communicate with them. You don’t understand their world anymore, and they hardly understand yours. Also, at this age your children are trying to form their own identities, which means that they are fighting against you to do so. You should not take this personally, but it might mean that your child won’t want to communicate with you much. They will identify you with their childhood and with control. So how will you possibly communicate effectively with your junior high aged child?

There are a couple of things that will help you to do this. One is to start communicating with your child like an adult. Children at this age will probably want to be treated like an adult so you should endeavor to do so. Don’t baby them when you speak to them; make sure that they know you love them, but don’t patronize them. Explain things clearly but allow them space to develop on their own. This will mean holding the to a higher standard than you have held them before, but it will also mean giving them a bit more freedom.

Realize that the stresses and strains of this age are unique. One thing to remember is that your child probably does not understand everything that is happening to them at this age. They are confused and on something of an emotional roller coaster ride. You can expect some outbursts and difficult situations. While you might not understand everything that is going on, you can understand that the situation is difficult and be understanding. In fact, one of the best ways to communicate with kids at this age is to listen to them. Allow them to come to you and tell you about their problems. Only when you have some idea of what they are going through will you be able to communicate with them. However, this requires that you provide them with a hospitable and loving environment in which to open up. If you are constantly angry with your junior high aged child they won’t share anything with you. Being understanding and kind will allow you to form a relationship with your child; they will come to you when they need to talk because they know that you are a compasionate and caring person. They won’t expect judgement, only caring and concern, and that is the type of relationship you want with your child. With some patience and understanding you will find that you can learn to communicate with your junior high aged child.

Tips To Parent Teenagers

When a child is first born into the family you likely aren’t thinking about the days when they are going to be a teen and can cause a lot of conflict and hard times ahead for you both. Teens naturally test their boundaries and they want to push their parents to their breaking point. It is part of learning who they are and understanding the world they live in. Parents can become frustrated with teenagers as their personalities are hard to live with. Teens are dealing with new emotions as their bodies grow and they start to deal with their own set of problems in life.

Teens are curious about everything in life. Some teens follow the rules well and others want to push the rules as far as possible. They like to see what they are capable of doing and what they are capable of getting away with. Teen years are a lot of fun and as a parent you might be able to enjoy times where you really get to bond with your child in a totally different way. It is important that you learn how to parent teens properly or they could end up on the wrong path in life.

One thing to note when you are parenting teens: EACH TEENAGER IS DIFFERENT! What works well on your older son may not work at all on your daughter. Everyone has a different personality and they are going to test you in different ways. You need to be consistent with your rules in your home and hold each person accountable to them. Do not give out different punishments to one child than another. Make sure they are treated equally. As a parent you need to be firm in your position. You and your partner need to support one another and make sure your teens are not pitting you against each other. This only causes problems in your marriage and can make it easy for the teens to get away with any type of behavior they want.

Listen to your teenager. The problems that they are dealing with are very real to them and while they may seem trivial to you, they are life changing to them in this moment of their life. You have to be caring as they describe the things that are getting to them. Make sure they feel you are empathetic to their needs and that you are trying to help. Do not offer unsolicited advice. Many times your teen just wants to vent and they need someone to listen to them. Be involved in their life and ask questions about their life and the things that they like and dislike. Your teen may not talk as much as you’d like them to but they will know that you love them if you show interest in their life and you care about them and let them know that you do love them.

Do not be hurt if your teen would rather confide in your spouse. This isn’t something that you should worry about. Your teen simply feels comfortable sharing their issues with your spouse at this time. As they get older they may start to share more with you. Just be there to support and love them.

Respect your teen. When a teen feels like they cannot be trusted they often lie to their parents. You need to create a home where people can feel like they can talk about anything and that you will not judge them. Teach your teen how to look for the positive things in life as it will help them to have a healthier outlook on life.v

Why Teens Get Into Trouble

Do you have a teen girl? Does it seem like she is always getting into trouble? If you have a teen girl, it is going to be a challenge that you need to deal with but it is a welcome challenge! While there are times that are hard, there are times where being the parent of a teen girl is incredibly rewarding and fun. Why do teens always seem to get into trouble? In a lot of cases they aren’t meaning to get into trouble. Teen girls may just want to push the boundaries and to know what their limits are. They are always going to push their parents. You need to be strong and solid in your parenting so that she knows that there are rules that she needs to follow and that there will be consequences that she will need to face if she breaks these rules.

When a teen gets mixed up with the wrong crowd, she becomes vulnerable to behaviors that are not normal for her. Teens are influenced by the people around them. The friends that they make will have a big influence on them. You need to make sure that your teen girl is able to understand what is expected of her and that she is held to a different standard from her friends.

The teen girl needs to know that while she may not think you are cool, you are still her parent and she needs to respect you. Do not put up with any disrespect from her in any way. Let her know what type of behavior is acceptable and what behavior is not acceptable. As a parent of a teen that pushes the buttons all the time, you need to know that there is not a magical solution or a magical cure to fix it. You need to make sure that you are getting help where you can to parent your teen. Your daughter can get some supportive help from counselors as they can help to listen and provide tips on what to do if she is not willing to listen to you about the situations that she is dealing with.

Always be aware of her behavior and how much time she spends away from you and the family. You need to make sure that your teen daughter knows she is loved and you need to take her to fun outings with you often. She needs to be around you often and to have your love in her life to know that she is loved and respected by you. It is important that you work on finding ways to spend time with her.

Sometimes teens get into troubles because they do not have the love and support they need from their families. You need to be able to look at your family dynamic and to see how much love you are giving to your teen daughter. If she doesn’t get the love and reassurance from your family, she will usually look for it in other places.

Teens do not think long-term. Teens only think of the here and now. They do not think about consequences for their actions. You need to be able to make sure that you always are the parent and that you are disciplining them. Despite how angry they may get, discipline helps them to know that you will give them consequences for disobeying the rules.

Learn to listen to your teen girl. She needs to be able to know that you care about her and that you are interested in her and in her life. If she is able to know that she is really important to you, it helps her to feel better.

What Does Your Teen Daughter Want?

Do you feel that your teen girl is missing something from her life? Do you feel left out of her life? Did you use to be friends? If you feel like now she avoids you and doesn’t involve you in her life at all, you need to sit down and talk to her. Your teen girl likely wants to be involved in your life and she may be feeling like you are not involving her in your life and this is why she doesn’t talk to you anymore. Take a look at what your daily routine is. Do you involve her in your life? Do you wait for her to come home and get excited when you see her? Do you give her a hug and let her know that you love her? Do you pay attention to her when she is talking? Kids know when their parents are ignoring them and they will quickly turn away from you if they feel like they are being ignored by you.

What does your teen daughter want? She wants you! Your teen daughter wants you to give her your attention and to spend time with her. If you involve her in your life, she will return the favor to you. This is the only way in which you will be able to bond with her as she wants to be able to get along with you just like you do with her. Making time for her in your life is the best thing you can do in order to show your daughter that you care about her.

Some simple things you can do to help your teen daughter to see that you want her involved in your life is to plan a fun activity with her. Perhaps she loves to go get pedicures, plan a visit together! This is a great time to sit and talk to your daughter and to just relax together. It can quickly become a routine that the two of you end up sharing for many years and it can become something that you both love to do.

Pay attention to your teen daughters emotions. You need to be able to detect when she has had a bad day and to be there to love and support her. She will have times when her friends are mean and she needs to come home to warm arms that will hold her as she cries. You need to be that support for her no matter what type of situation she is struggling with as she needs to feel that she is always loved at home. This is her safe place and the home is a place where she can always be herself without judgment.

Another way to get your teen to open up with you is to talk to her often! If you aren’t sure where to start, you can always pick up a book and both of you can start reading the same book and then discussing it together. This is a great way to share in a hobby that you both like and it can help you both to share your insights with each other.

Ask your daughter questions about her life. She wants to know that you care and she wants to be able to understand that even if she doesn’t tell you much, that you are actually interested in her life. Teens often say that they are saddened by the fact that their parents don’t talk to them or that they do not ask them questions. Make it a priority to sit down and listen to your daughter and to let her know how much you love and care about her.

What Divorce Can Do To Your Teen Girl

There are a lot of situations that are hard on your teen girl but one of the most devastating things that can happen to her in her life is to watch her parents get divorced. A teen girl can have a whirlwind of emotions around the divorce of her parents and it can really impact her in a number of different aspects of her life. What parents need to remember is that their children love both of their parents and they do not want to hear negative things about either one of you. When a relationship ends and you have children involved you really need to work hard on being able to have at least one agreement at the end and that is to ensure that you will both never speak poorly about each other in front of the kids.

Parents are there to provide emotional love and support to their children. When you are not around to offer this to them all the time, it can be devastating. Teen girls are particular vulnerable to divorce as they have a hard time being able to understand that their parents no longer love each other. That strong foundation of what love should be like and the excitement that they could have it in their life someday is now shattered. It is hard to see parents split up at any age as it is emotionally devastating.

You need to make sure that you are sensitive to your child’s needs and that you are there to help uplift and support your daughter through this hard time. You still need to be a role model to her and you and your soon to be ex spouse both need to be on the same parenting team to raise your daughter. She needs to be held to the same rules as before so you are not playing a game where you pit your ex against you for your daughters affection. This will not do either one of you any good as it will just make your daughter her own parent and she will not have rules or discipline.

Teen girls will be emotional about the divorce and they will likely rely on their friends to help them out with these emotions. They are not going to express the pain to you as they will express the anger to you for ruining her life. She will not get how devastating this is for you as teens are very selfish and they only think of themselves and what this will mean for them.

Statistically children of divorced parents have a hard time with a number of things. They have poor performance in school, they are emotionally disturbed, and most of them will suffer from depression. It is a hard experience for everyone and you need to be able to really help your teen learn to bring her emotions to the surface and to deal with them. You will deal with her behavioral problems and this can be hard.

It is important to consider getting your teen girl into counseling so she has a safe place to talk. She will be able to express all of the pain and anger she may be feeling and the counseling can help her to finally understand divorce and how she can still have a happy life.

Even though it is hard, you and your ex need to get together to help your kids. You need to work on helping them with their schooling and other things. When you do get to spend time with them, work hard on making sure they feel of your love and attention. They need to know how much they mean to you!

Troubled Teens And Parenting Them

Parenting a teen is not easy and when you have a troubled teen, you may be in for a whole different set of challenges. Your perception of a troubled teen may be different from the rest of the world so you need to be able to understand this and to know what you need to do in order to properly parent your daughter. Base your parenting on your daughter and make sure that you know her personality and you are not treating her unfairly because of the perceptions out there. The parent-teen relationship is one that is hard for many people to deal with. You need to be able to really work hard on knowing how to manage your relationship and to be able to understand how you can defy the others out there that think they know it all and think that they will be able to school you on being a parent.

When you have a teen that is already dealing with a handful of issues, you need to be aware of this and to be sensitive to them. They may feel like you are attacking them all the time if you are not being kind and you are always picking out negative things. Your teen may feel like you never see the positive things and that you are only focused on negative things and punishing them all the time. It is important to them that you take the time to really focus on seeing the good things that they do.

Every teen will deal with situations differently. You need to realize this and just because your teen is quiet about things or they handle it differently than you would, it doesn’t mean that they do not realize the importance of the situation. Realize how your teen handles the situations that she is placed in and that you are giving her your love and support and being patient with her. Support her and help her in the decision making process so she doesn’t keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

The problem that many parents find is that their teen daughters just want to have them involved and they are going about it the wrong way. If you are forcing all the time, your teen girl will push back. Be open to her and let her see that she is important to you and that you want her in your life. You need to spend time with her daily and to talk to her. Listen to her and really get to know her. Your daughter may reveal a lot of things to you that you never would have recognized on your own. It is important that you take the time to help your daughter to feel comfortable in talking to you about any problem that she may be facing.

Do not play the blame game with your teen. Instead learn to listen to her and let her explain to you why she is in troubling situations. You need to be able to give her a chance to talk instead of prematurely judging all the time. This helps her to see that you trust her and that you are working hard to give her responsibility again. She wants to earn your trust and with the right set of parenting, you will help her to see that she can pick herself back up from any bad situation and to move forward from it again. As she can learn how to pick herself up, she will gain confidence and strength and you will see her grow and overcome huge obstacles in life!

Tips To Help With Self Esteem

Are you parenting a teen girl? If you have a teen girl you know the ups and downs of life! It may seem like one day you and your daughter are best friends and then the next day she is slamming a door in your face and will not speak to you. It is vital that you learn how to grow a thick skin as you will have times when your feelings are hurt. Teens are emotional and they go for “blood” when they fight as they don’t realize just how mean they can be to the people that love and care about them the most. It is vital that you learn how to deal with her emotions and to work hard on loving her no matter what. Teen girls know when they are ignored and when they are not loved. Teen depression is a huge concern and it’s vital that parents step up and work hard to love and support their daughters to prevent them from suffering alone.

Social pressures on teen girls can lead to self-esteem concerns. Many teen girls see magazines and want to look like their favorite celebrity. They may judge themselves often and will likely look for everything that is wrong with them instead of looking for all the things that are amazing.

Teach your daughter how to look at life as the glass half-full and not half-empty. You need to teach her how to love herself and not to compare herself to everyone else at school. Self-esteem consists of loving yourself and learning how to care about yourself and to be appreciative of who you are. When you have self-esteem you will not be phased by the opinions of others and you will have pride in the person that you are. When you have self-esteem you care more about yourself and it can impact how you carry yourself each day.

To help your daughter have self-esteem, you need to have it for yourself! You need to be proud of who you are and to face every trial and obstacle with courage. Let her see you working on yourself and on having self-esteem. This will really help to encourage her!

Every day you need to take time to hug your daughter and to tell her that you love her. She needs to see and feel of your love. You should tell her that she is beautiful! Make sure that you are giving her compliments and that you work hard on uplifting her.

How does everyone else in the family speak to each other and to your daughter? You need to make sure that her father is treating her with respect and that he is saying kind words and compliments to her. Girls that have loving and supportive fathers are less likely to suffer from self-esteem issues.

It is important that you take time to spend with your daughter. She knows when she is being ignored by you. Take time to go see a movie with her. Do things that show her that you love spending time with her! She needs to be a big part of your life. While she may not always open up and talk to you about everything, you still need to be there and to be supportive for her. Learn how to listen to your daughter instead of always talking over her with your opinions and unsolicited advice.

A great way to help her gain self-esteem is through the friends that she has. Make sure she has a good group of friends. You should consider talking to her about signing up for sports classes and other clubs as this will help her to meet other teens that have interests like her.

The Right Way To Parent Your Teen Girl

No parenting job is ever an easy one! There isn’t an instruction manual that you are sent home when you become a parent and it changes with each child that you have. Teen girls are dealing with their fair share of drama and challenges and they need to have a stable support group around them to really develop into a well-rounded young woman. You need to be able to focus on understanding how you can provide a great environment for your teen daughter so she can grow and flourish properly.

Teen girls are subject to a lot of different things. They need to be able to have parents that are there for them and will love and support them no matter what happens. As teen girls start to develop their sense of self worth and they start to grow into who they really are, it is vital that you are there to help and support them along the way. Its hard for them to understand how to deal with all the emotions and things that they need to face. With strong parents to guide and support her, she will have the confidence and self-esteem to face up to these various obstacles and challenges without issues.

You need to be intuitive and really listen to her. She will come home and won’t say a word sometimes. You need to really understand her personality type to know if there is something wrong. Make some time for your daughter and talk to her each day. Let her see how important she is to you in your life. You also need to focus on the way in which you are listening to her when she is talking. Are you paying attention to what she has to say? Are you working hard to really listen? She can feel when you are ignoring her and she wants and deserves your attention and love. You need to be there for her and to listen to what she has to say to you.

If you would really like to parent your teen girl in the right way, be the parent! Far too often parents try to be the friend and not the parent and this can lead to a handful of problems. It is important that you focus your efforts on being able to provide structure and discipline and rules to your daughter. Your teen girl needs to have boundaries and she needs to have the right type of discipline when she has broken the rules. While you may feel that it is hard to do, she needs to learn and the only way to learn is by having the discipline enacted when she does things that are not within the rules that you have created for your family.

Know your teen girl’s personality and what is right for her! You need to understand who she is a as a person and you need to be able to parent her effectively instead of trying to be either too much of a friend or too much of a person that disciplines harshly.

It is important that your teen girl knows that she is loved by you. She needs to hear the words from you often and she needs to feel the comfort of a warm hug from you. As you work on being a better parent, you will find that really loving and caring for your daughter will go a long way in boosting her self-esteem and helping her to feel the support that she needs to have confidence in herself and to make smart decisions with her life.

The Parent-Teen Relationship

Every relationship has its fair shares of ups and downs. Parenting a teen girl is one of the hardest relationships for many parents. This is because teen girls are going through some major life changes and they are not always able to cope with the emotions and things that they are dealing with. You need to make sure that you are always working on fostering the parent-teen relationship so you can do all that you can in order to have a healthy one. Your teen should be able to trust you and must respect you. It is important that you both work together to know what the boundaries are and that you both work on having a healthy relationship with each other.

Teens move from being kids into this phase where they are pretty independent. They may often feel like they know more than their parents and this can lead to a lot of fights and tension in the home. Teens will press their boundaries to know just how much they can get away with before you will snap and you punish them.

It is hard to deal with the emotions of a teen girl as she can go from happy to sad in the same sentence! Your teen girl is now facing a whole new world of emotions that she does not yet understand. You have to be able to help her deal with these new emotions. As a parent you are her example and there are times where she will say hurtful things to you. It is important that you do not immediately react as this is what she wants when she is trying to be mean. Instead you need to react with the discipline or whatever it may be and then come back later when she is calm and talk to her about her behavior and how inappropriate and hurtful it can be. When she is feeling loved, she will regret the things that she has said.

What about dating? Dealing with teen dating is hard. Before you let your teen daughter start out in the dating world, you need to establish some ground rules with her. She needs to know what types of behaviors are acceptable and what is not acceptable. As she is able to know what type of things are expected, she is less likely to engage in unacceptable behavior. You also need to have strict rules about curfew and to follow through with appropriate discipline if she does disobey curfew.

Friends are the most important thing in the world to teen girls. They rely on them for everything and confide in their friends. You need to be understanding of this and not be hurt when they want to spend time with them. It is important however that your teen daughter knows that her family comes first and that you make plans for you to spend time together as well. When you can make her into a priority in your life, she will start to return the favor to you.

Don’t be quick to judge and accuse. Let your teen explain her side of the story if she is caught disobeying rules. You need to listen to her. Teens often lie to their parents because their parents do not listen to the truth as they already have judged whatever it may be. You need to put aside the negative feelings you may have and to try and really work on positive parenting. This will go a long way in creating a stronger relationship between you and your teen girl and to helping her gain self-esteem and confidence.

The Dangers Of Teen Girl Bullying

There are many issues that teen girls have to face each day. If you have a teen daughter, one of the issues that you need to look for is teen bullying. Whether your daughter is the one being the bully or the one being bullied, it is vital that you jump in and help your daughter out so she is not losing herself to the dangers of teen bullying. Girls can easily get into physical brawls just like boys can. Most of the teen bullies will focus on the complete humiliation of their victims. Your daughter’s entire self-worth can be destroyed by a teen bully that decides to make her life a living hell.

With social media and access to so many different “worlds” compared to what teen girl’s parents were raised with, it can be difficult to combat teen bullying as it happens all over the place. Teen girl bullies will not only harass their victims but many of them will do everything they can to invade their privacy. They may end up taking measures to destroy their reputation at school, work, and in every aspect of their life.

Some of the common teen girl bullying will include starting and spreading rumors, teasing, harassment, and physical abuse. Your daughter may start to suffer from low self-esteem because of teen bullies and you often see a large majority of girls that end up dealing with issues like eating disorders along with depression as a result of bullying. If your daughter starts missing a lot of school and you notice that she is undergoing a lot of personality changes and emotional issues, you really need to clue in that there may be a problem you need to address.

With teen girl bullying you will end up seeing girls that were once happy and bubbly turn into victims. They may start to become isolated and will start to pull away from social situations. They may not have friends and they will likely spend a great deal of time alone in their bedroom. You may find it next to impossible to get her to talk to you and you can easily notice that she is dealing with depression.

Verbal abuse is one of the most hurtful things for teen girls. Words are painful and they can really destroy self-esteem in a hurry. When a teen girl becomes the victim of a group of teen bullies, it can make it next to impossible for her to be able to find a niche for herself. She may not be able to make friends in class and she likely will not be able to feel part of any group or organization that the school has because the bullies have ruined her reputation with everyone.

You need to be able to recognize if your daughter is being bullied and to get her into counseling right away. She will need to vent to someone and many times teens do not want to talk to their parents about their issues. Therapy can help her to let out the anger, hurt, and aggression that she is dealing with. She will also be able to learn coping strategies to help her overcome the issues that are plaguing her daily.

Reporting the bullying is vital. Administration of the school will need to get involved and will need to speak to the teens and their parents that are involved to try and control it and to make the school into a safe and comfortable learning environment for everyone.

Focus on helping your daughter to recognize how important and special she is to you and your family. Make sure you are complimenting her each day and that you take the time to hug her and let her know how much you love and care for her. Continue to help her to have self-esteem and to help her realize that these teen bullies will never destroy her.