September 26, 2017

Is your spouse seeming distant?

Every relationship has its ups and downs but when it moves from being a great thing into a feeling of separation or distance between the two of you, there are some problems to worry about. Relationships need constant work and you both need to be equally invested in the relationship for it to work. What happens when you feel like you are giving the relationship everything you have and you have a partner that doesn’t seem to be as invested? What can you do about the relationship at this point? Communicate! When someone is distant, there is a lack of communication. They may feel like they cannot trust you because you will become angry or upset if they bring up things that are concerning or troubling them. Males more than females tend to pull away and become distant in relationships when it hits a plateau or when they feel they need to seek out connection and thrills elsewhere.

However not all men that distance themselves are intimate with other people. They may have a lot of stress and pressure that they are dealing with and this tends to take up the majority of their time and focus. In most cases, financial worries are one of the biggest reasons why a man will distance himself from a marriage. If money has always been tight in your marriage, it may reach a point where it gets even tighter. When you hit this wall, you will find that it is difficult for you to manage money and you have a difficult time caring and nurturing the relationship because you are both working hard to fix your money problems. Other stresses like money will quickly tear apart a healthy relationship.

Men also take a lot of pride in their job and in providing for their families. Having a steady job and one that makes them feel appreciated and like they are worth something is important to their self-esteem. It is important that you feel for your spouse if they have lost their job or if they are having troubles with their career path. If you are not open and caring about this concern, they will become isolated from you. It is important that you give him space to figure out what he wants to do and just be there to listen instead of telling him what you want him to do.

Does your husband have family members that are dealing with health concerns or other concerns? Men may become distant because they are worried about other people that are in their life. Their sick mother or divorcing brother can put a heavy weight on their shoulders and may cause them to become distant from you while they try to deal with these emotional issues.

As a partner you need to be supportive and understanding. Take this time to listen to them and to let them know that you are here for them and you care for them. Do not badger them with questions and ask them things like “what is your problem?” “are you having an affair?” These are questions that will just bother them and may end up pushing them further away. Have confidence in the fact that they do love you and in time they will open up more. You need to have confidence in yourself and in the relationship and to know that you will get through this rough time. Try to get their focus off these problems by taking them out on a date or going away for a nice weekend vacation. When they are pulled away from all the distractions, it will make it easier for them to open up to you and really improve the relationship.

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