January 27, 2020

Keeping A Strong Marriage With Kids

Many people find that having children can put a lot of strain on a marriage. Children are a great blessing to a marriage, but they do tend to take on a lot of hard work and can cause stress. Many couples do not take the time to work on their marriage when they have kids and it can quickly cause a relationship between parents to really struggle. If the parents fail to keep their marriage healthy and strong, it can end up leading to many problems. It is important that you focus on ways to find time to spend together and that you are working on your marriage. Get creative so you can focus on your marriage and making it enjoyable for both of you while appreciating your kids and everything that they can add to a marriage.

Date Night

One way to focus on your marriage is to plan on having a monthly date night. Date night is a great way to spend some quality time together away from your kids. While you are on date night, try to avoid talking about your kids the entire time. While they do bond you as a couple, you need to remember that there are other things that bring you together. You should plan on taking at least one night a month to go on dates where you can enjoy movies and other things. A date night allows you to dress up without worrying about kids getting food and other things on your clothes! Plan on making date night into a priority each month. Some preschools even offer a monthly date night, which is something you should consider looking into if you have a hard time finding good babysitters.

Family Night

A healthy marriage can occur when you spend time as a family. Plan on a weekly family night where you can all go together to have fun activities that you enjoy such as miniature golfing, paintballing, laser tag, swimming, and other things. When you make family night into a weekly thing, it can help your marriage as you are getting away from the stress of other things in life and really appreciating your kids and how they build up your marriage.

Bedtime

Have a routine with your kids! Put them to bed at a certain time and spend time together. You should plan on talking to each other instead of just vegging out in front of the TV. It is important that you have some daily quality time where you can just relax and talk to each other. Talk about your workday and other things that you did. This is a healthy way to keep your marriage open and to make sure that you are in touch with what you are both doing in your lives. You need to plan on cuddling on the couch and showing physical affection for each other! This is important to a marriage as it will reassure the other person that you love and care for them and that you are committed to one another. A good bedtime routine is a great way to ensure that you have at least 2 hours together each night when the kids are asleep and you can have some adult time!

Weekend Vacation

Once and awhile you need to plan on getting away from the kids and going on a weekend excursion. See if you can find some friends or family members that will be able to watch your kids so you can enjoy going away for a nice weekend. Even going into the city and staying at a romantic hotel can make the weekend enjoyable and relaxing for you. Look into the options that you have in order to make a weekend vacation worthwhile.

Spending time together, How it can make your marriage work

Marriage is a union where each person commits to the other; however, life is full of distractions such as responsibilities, hobbies, technology, errands, etc. that keep couples from spending any time together.  This can be fatal to a marriage.  It is usually not too long before couples begin to realize that their spouse is changing, or that they are growing apart as a couple.  Making time to spend with each other is a great way to help a marriage work.  Here are a few tips to couples spend more time together despite all the things that keep couples apart.

Multitasking

Multitasking is a great way to evolve with all of the responsibilities that arise with a family.  Instead of always sending one person to the grocery store, while the other brings the kids to get school clothes, take a little extra time and do these things together. This is a great idea, especially when the errands have to do with each person’s hobbies.  For example, a husband can learn a lot about his wife by going shopping for an outfit with her.  At the same time, a wife will learn a lot about her husband by spending an hour in the hardware store with him.  Combining tasks is a great way to spend time together and help make a marriage work.

Date Night

Planning a date night is another great way to spend time together.  Couples can escape all of the pressures and stresses of maintaining a family, and spend time building their relationship through fun activities.  While it may be tempting to just go see a movie, try and think of activities that will allow for conversation and interaction. Going out to dinner, taking a walk, shopping together, or getting together with some friends are all great opportunities to build a marriage.  It is also important to make date night a priority through planning and finding a babysitter.  By having a periodic date night, couples will be able to stay close to each other and continue to learn about each other, making it less likely that they will grow apart.

Common Hobbies

Sometimes after couples have been married for a long time it can seem like they no longer have anything in common.  One way to remedy this is to spend time together doing a common hobby.  If no common hobby currently exists in the marriage, create one!  This can be a great opportunity for couples to rekindle their partnership by doing an activity they both enjoy together.  Some ideas for hobbies include hiking, biking, swimming, exercising, doing crafts, playing games, video games (two player), cooking, or even reading the same book and talking about it.

Romance and Intimacy

Sometimes couples get so busy they forget about the romance and intimacy that brought them together.  Spending time together in a romantic or intimate setting is a great way to help relight the flame in a marriage.  Take turns planning a romantic evening that leads to intimacy.  If a couple has not been intimate in a long time, take these romantic evenings as opportunities to rediscover each other.

Couples may feel over time that their marriage is losing its flavor.  Spending time together is a great way to spice up a marriage.  Just remember to multitask, plan a date night, find a common hobby, and be romantic and intimate.

Strengthening the friendship in your marriage

Over time married couples can forget that before they were married, they were actually friends.  It seems like the excitement and fun that goes with friendship and courtship disintegrate all too quickly once a couple ties the knot.  Soon couples wonder if they were ever friends at all before they were married.  But, this disintegration of friendship does not have to be inevitable consequence of marriage.  Here are a few tips for strengthening friendship in a marriage.

Date Night

Couples should set aside one night a week to go on a date.  Because married couples often find their schedules completely full of things that need to be done, planning a date night is the best way to ensure quality time together.  These dates should not include doing mundane things like laundry at the Laundromat, rather, couples should try to do some of the things that brought them together in the first place.  Some examples might be going to a concert, going on a hike, seeing a sporting event, going out to eat, have a picnic, or go bowling.  Doing something fun each week together will help couples grow their friendship despite all of the stress and pressure of marriage.

Relax

Many times couples find that they just want to get everything done so that they can relax and have fun together.  Unfortunately, if they do get everything done, they are too tired to have any fun afterword.  Or, even worse, they never finish everything that needs to be done.  Couples need to remember that their friendship is much more important than the things that need to be done around the house.  They should take time to have a conversation or watch a favorite TV show together and not worry about what needs to be done.  Many mundane tasks will never go away, and constantly trying to keep up with them may cause damage to a marriage friendship.

Have Family Dinner

One very important thing couples can do is to eat their meals together.  This will allow couples to hear about each person’s day and to spend time together.  They may even joke around or flirt.  Cooking the meal together is also a great idea because they will be able to interact as a couple.  Even if the kids are at the table, couples will find that having dinner together is a great way to grow their friendship.

Be a Friend

For one reason or another, couples often take for granted that the other person is there and forget to be a genuine friend to them.  In marriage it can be easy to pass off one person’s bad day as if it were nothing when before marriage a bad day would have constituted flowers or dinner or both.  It is also ok to joke around and have a good time even though life seems to be overtaking a marriage.  Share anecdotes from work or funny things the kids did that day.  Remembering to be a friend is an important part of growing a friendship in marriage.

After a couple is married it can seem like life suddenly interferes with the friendship they had groomed before they were married.  By remembering what it is like to be a friend, a couple will be able to build their friendship.  Having a date night, remembering how important friendship is, eating dinner together, and being a true friend are all great ways to grow friendship in a marriage.

Showing how much you care for your spouse

Shortly after marriage many people find that they don’t feel the same way about the person they stood beside at the alter. During the honeymoon phase they were enamored with their future spouse. Their spouse was their best friend and nothing could possibly ever go wrong with the relationship. However, soon of the ringing of the wedding bells both partners find that they feel some resentment towards the other. Stress and difficulty cause division and strife; the happy marriage soon finds itself on the rocks. While this might be a dramatic description of what often happens in marriage, it is true that without some sort of serious game plan, many marriages will go down hill fast. There are a number of reasons for marital problems, but one of the most common is that married people do not show enough affection for each other. While the honeymoon period always ends the question as to how the marriage will go from there depends on how well the couple can show that they care. Every marriage is different, meaning that you will need to figure out how best to show affection for your spouse. However, listed bellow are some of the ways that you can show your spouse just how much you care for them.

  1. Spend some sort of time with your spouse everyday. Like any other project in our lives, a marriage needs work and energy. You need to dedicate a little bit of your time and thought to your spouse everyday. This should be the best time of both your days-the time when you can relax and enjoy each other. This could be something as simple as cooking dinner together and eating it. Make sure that this is alone time with your spouse-perhaps after the kids are asleep.
  2. Do something nice for your spouse everyday. You don’t need to get him or her flowers or a present. This could be complement or some help with a daily task. Write your spouse an email or a note, give them a massage, or simply tell them something you like about them. What is important here is that you do something nice on consecutive occasions. Simply doing it once doesn’t say much-if you can say something nice everyday to your spouse you will truly show them that you care.
  3. Take your spouse out on some sort of date every week. A marriage that does not a have a regular date on weekly basis will tend to become boring. What you need to do is plan some sort of exciting outing that your spouse will think is fun.
  4. On the appropriate occasion you should purchase nice presents for your spouse. Although gifts are not the most important thing in any relationship, it is very important that you buy appropriate gifts that show your interest in your spouse. Think carefully about their interests and what they might like or dislike.
  5. Finally, think about things that you could sacrifice in order to make your spouse’s life better. For example, if you were willing to give up a career or hobby so that your spouse was happier, that would certainly show how much you care. Marriage is not about one spouse getting what they want. It is about both having the opportunity to do what they are interested in.

These are just a few suggestions that should help you to show your spouse just how much you care. Brainstorm and come up with your own methods that will work best in your marriage.

Having fun with your spouse every week

With all the business of life constantly forcing us to focus our attention on things other than marriage, how can any of us possibly hope to have a healthy relationship. Whether it is our career, a particular hobby, a child, or any other distraction, many people find that they no longer spend any time working on their marriage. It seems that many of us think that the marriage ends with the wedding bells rather than beginning. We think that once we are married we don’t need to try so hard anymore. For example, we often stop going out on dates with our spouse anymore. We don’t care as much about our appearance and we often don’t put much energy into speaking with our spouse. Although most people assume that such behavior will not have negative consequences, it seems clear that with so much divorce in the world, one of the primary causes is apathy. People simply stop caring or become bored with the situation. The real tragedy, however, is that they do not try to fix the problem. They simply watch their marriage fall apart without raising a finger. If you feel that your marriage is falling into this type of difficulty, or if you feel that it needs a little jump start, consider planning a fun activity every week with your spouse.
Many people will tell you that a date once a week with their spouse saved their marriage. If you can do something fun with your spouse on a weekly basis you will find that you enjoy each other’s company again. This is partly because on a date night you are able to leave behind the stresses and strains of everyday life. You are allowed to focus solely on your marriage and on your spouse for a little while. Be sure to plan exciting and fun activities for all of your date nights. The same date over and over again won’t really help you get anywhere. During the week think about fun things that you would like to do with your spouse. Sit down with your partner and plan the dates or activities that you would like to try. Don’t limit yourself to just dinner and a movie. Look into exciting options in your area; my wife and I love to go rock climbing at a local gym for our date night. The challenge of the activity along with the exercise helps us to feel better physically, and to bond as a couple.
If you find that there is something getting in the way of your weekly fun activity, make some time. Many couples stop doing a weekly activity because something serious comes up that they need to dedicate most of their energy to. However, it is in just such circumstances that we need to continue to have fun. Many marriages end because a stressful situation arises that prevents the couple from having any fun with each other. If you are in one of these situations right now, consider taking some time out for your marriage. The break will not only help to relieve stress, it will also help you to form a stronger and more intimate bond with your spouse.
Because every marriage is different you will need to think of activities to help strengthen your marriage. Brainstorm fun dates with your spouse and give them a try. It might take some time and patience to figure out what works best, but in the long run you will find yourself having lots of fun.

Date night-never miss it!

couple on a datenight

When people fall in love they tend to come to a time when they would love to get married. The honeymoon stage makes most people feel like getting married, but shortly after the wedding bells have rung out their happy tune the couple finds themselves faced with difficulties. They start to discover little problems with the other person. Stressful situations arise and there are serious disagreements about how to deal with problems. How will you keep that marital bliss going when there is so much stress and so much to fight about? There might be no way to keep things as they first were when you got married, but there are some tools you can use to make sure that your marriage will stay strong and increase in love. If you think about the honeymoon period there is probably one thing that stands out besides your uncritical adoration of the other person. You spent lots of time with your future spouse while you were dating. You went out on several dates every week and you thought of exciting things to do with the other person. In other words, you spent lots of time together and it was productive, well-planned time. If you want to watch your marriage grow you need to continue going on dates with your spouse long after you are married. Technically you will need to keep going out on dates as long as you are married-even into old age.

Date night is not an option for any couple, and it needs to happen just about every week. You and your spouse need some time every week to sit down with each other and have some stress free time. You need to take a break from the stress of life and rediscover what led you to marry each other. The key to successful date nights is planning. Think about your date night throughout the week and consult with your spouse. Think about activities that both of you would like to participate in. Try something new, whether it be a new restaurant, jazz club, or sport. Don’t limit yourself to the same old date-there are lots of options out there. An exciting date in a new place can really spark some passion in your relationship. You leave the world of chores, work, and kids behind, discovering new things together. If you are creative you can come up with lots of new possibilities for great dates.

If you find that other things are getting in the way of date night, make sure that you alter your schedule so that you can start again. Often couples find that something comes up and keeps them busy in such a way that they forget to take time for themselves. This often occurs when there are serious problems in a family-an illness or loss of a job, for example. However, it is especially in such stressful times that you need to slow down and take a break. Divorces often occur because a special circumstance forces a couple to fight. Having a weekly date night in the midst of such tension can make a big difference and might even save your marriage. If you have not tried date night before you need to start right away. It takes some discipline and work to get it going, but you will find that date night is a great tool for strengthening your relationship. Sit down with your spouse today and think about your next date. You will find that spending a little time with your spouse each week is a must.